On Competitions and Auditions (21 March 2009)

Musical Musings on Competitions and Auditions

By: Angela Chan

21st March 2009

In the blink of an eye, spring is here again. As the snow melts and days grow longer, we are approaching the season for auditions, music festivals and competitions. As teachers, not only are we working hard to ensure that our students are musically prepared for these events, but that they are also psychologically prepared to handle the stresses and contingencies associated with such endeavours.

The teacher plays a vital role in helping students develop a healthy attitude towards competitions and other assessments. For first time participants, it is understandable that this may result in a melange of emotions – anticipation, excitement, as well as some degree of apprehension. As teachers, we need to be sensitive to the psychological implications involved.

A music teacher and his/her student share a very delicate and special relationship, which goes beyond the conventional teacher/student relationship as established in classroom settings. To me, the role of the music teacher is not easily defined, as he/she takes on different hats, playing the role of mentor, occasionally mixed with sentiments of parenthood, intermingled with friendship and a level of artistic camaraderie. In the idealistic sense, teacher and student embark on a journey of artistic growth in the quest of beauty and truth.

I have had many students who participated in evaluative and competitive events. As part of the process, I always ensure that students and parents have a healthy attitude and understanding towards the potential joys and perils at the outset of such an undertaking.

In the grander context, the intent is for students to learn through the process, to embark on a challenge which facilitates musical and personal growth. In the act of sustained methodical and meticulous practice, one develops introspective skills and learns discipline, self-control, to overcome fear, to wisely manage one's time, and to face challenges under stress.

We may have come across some students who aim for mediocrity or those lavished in excessive pride. In these instances, garnering prizes and awards can further mislead them into believing that they have "succeeded". Acknowledgment and praise lavished at inappropriate moments may breed self-indulgence and narcissism, thereby creating more harm than good.

There are other students who are meticulous, devoted, and put their hearts and souls into the making of the music. Unfortunately, mishaps occur - either that their performances were marred, or that they were disappointed by the fact that they were unable to deliver their very best in their performances. As a consequence, they become devastated.

To many, including parents and students, the awarding of prizes demarcates the end of the competition. To the insightful teacher, this is only the beginning of a demanding process. It is the "post-mortem analysis" which is part and parcel of the process of artistic and emotional growth. Post-competition analysis and debriefing is as important as the preparative process of a competition. It is a time for reflective learning and counselling of our students. At these tender moments, teachers need to be versatile as much as sensitive.

Competitions can be a useful learning experience for students - not only in the cultivation of musicianship and performance skills, but even more so in life. In the preparative process, students learn by developing patience and perseverance, overcoming obstacles, and seeing one's true self, thereby confronting one's limitations.

From my experience, I realize that some students need to experience failure in order to learn humility. Through observation and comparison with others, they can become more aware of their own deficiencies. I had a student who considered himself a prodigy. He was a determined student and undeniably a relatively fast learner. He was, however, under the illusion (or perhaps "delusion") that he was on top of the world. He proclaimed to be a concert pianist, and simply loved to attempt pieces that are much more difficult than he could handle. His goal was literally to conquer the repertoire and impress his audience. On one occasion, this student proposed that he wanted to enter an international contest. I agreed to his application for the contest. At the time I was fully aware that that this student would not even make it to the first round -as he was hardly up to standard. But no level of explanation would convince him of this. I had no choice but let him to the wolves, so that he would really appreciate the expectations of going professional.

The rationale behind this pragmatic decision was that this particular student needed to learn through failure. Failure serves as a reality check for him. It is a necessary step for him to cast aside his grandiose vision of himself. Through failure, he could be prompted to re-evaluate his relationship with music. There is no other way that can tap as deeply into the core of his being as a jilt of failure, without which the severity of an overblown ego will only inhibit healthy artistic development.

My rationale may seem absurd or harsh to many. Some readers may wonder- why would a teacher set her student up to fail? Indeed yes, I wanted this student to observe how the other competitors play, and through this experience he will learn humility. Through defeat this student recognized "how high the sky is" and that he is at best a "large fish in a tiny puddle". Failure in this instance serves as a reality check, whereby helping this young man to cast aside any narcissistic tendencies and learn to be subservient to the art. Obviously, I was confident that when this particular student was confronted with failure, he had the courage and strength to face apparent defeat. If not, I would not have taken this path.

We also need to be aware that not everyone can be confronted bluntly with crude reality through failure. There are some students who require empathy and extended support at moments of weakness. I once had a student who failed in an important university entrance audition. She was devastated after learning that her application had been rejected. This student had put her heart into preparing for her audition. She had given up many opportunities only to pursue her dreams. She was truly disappointed, since she believed that she did her very best during the audition. Unfortunately, the judges’ verdict was otherwise.

I still remember how my heart sank when she burst into tears over the phone, announcing the bad news to me. For one, she was shocked that despite her best efforts and whole-hearted dedication, her performance was inadequate. She felt that she had failed not only in her performance, but in fulfilling her obligation toward me as a student. Being reminded of this disillusionment, which I encountered when I was her age, I couldn't help but cry with her on the phone. I empathized with her deepest emotions, which were as real to me as they were to her, just that things were staggered in time. I truly understood the heart-break when circumstances deny the pursuit of the love of your life.

With this, I shared with her my experiences - my false starts, my failures. The intent was to let her know that she was not alone. I was with her thick and thin, hand in hand, no matter what - before, during and after the audition. I shared with her my thoughts - that failure is temporary. Failure and success are only small parts of life, which comprises of a longer and greater journey where there are peaks and valleys constituting a natural part of the terrain. Failure is perception construed in a temporary context.

Learning to take failure in stride is a more important lesson to learn in life. This helps students develop a healthy level of acceptance towards reality, and to regain strength through overcoming apparent defeat. This also helps us appreciate others' achievements with humility and respect.

By contrast, it may be more difficult is to learn from one's successes. These are joyous moments of victory when sustained efforts of teacher and student are acknowledged. It is a time to celebrate, but also a moment to reflect. Everyone is entitled to the occasional "15-minutes of fame". However, what is more important is to take praise within context, and not to be blinded by moments of transient glory. We have to be careful that victory does not get to the heads of our students. We constantly have to remind our students, especially the very young ones, that winning is not everything, and that losing is definitely not everything either (as long as they have invested their best efforts into the task). We need to help our students learn not to take themselves, and their failures or successes too seriously (bar none).

As we acknowledge that failure builds character, winning also builds confidence. Through competitions, students learn to face challenges in life, confront fear, reflect upon their motivation in making music, and bond with those who are dear to them. With these, everything becomes worthwhile...

By Angela Chan

Copyrighted 21 March 2009